This time last year I was in pieces, literally, having just found out that my ACL was essentially non-existent. Being seized with disappointment and the fear of impending surgery and recovery, I found myself in an ever deepening rut. Then came the anxiety of determining how care of my horses during my time of absence would progress. The drive home for Thanksgiving lended some time for some much needed consideration.
In the weeks before Thanksgiving, feelings of anxiety, fear, and disappointment, began resurfacing. I was notified that I didn't win the Worth The Trust Scholarship, something I was sure I would be a contender for. Feeling financial constraints, I had to give Sally an exit date in order to begin a restaurant job. These financial constraints were further pressed when I arrived home to find my stud colt against the run-in shed, unable to walk. My vet came and immediately identified that he had Sweeny (the nerve that controls lateral movement in the shoulder was damaged, making for a constant look of dislocation in the shoulder). In addition, he was unable to muster up coordination in any of his remaining three limbs. We were referred to New Bolton, fearing he had frectured his vertebrate or shoulder. With a dead cell phone I made the drive to New Bolton. This was unlike anything I had ever experienced before and I was certain that that night I was coming home with an empty trailer. All of which I would be doing alone, able to contact my parents only by the landline in the front office. To everyone's relief the x-rays were good. There was presumed to be significant swelling around his spinal cord from flipping over the fence, an event that has yet to be explained.
It is easy to get consumed in the things we experience and find to be difficult in life. This time last year the I was consumed, unable to see the light that is our collection of blessings. The last few weeks have been defeating, but their have also been victories. I still have my colt and a decent outlook. I have three wonderfully-talented mares in training. I have a truck! I am employed within a event that is the essence of Christmas and Thanksgiving. And this winter I am moving to Aiken, my dream. There is no certainty that the finances for this trip will be existent, but dwelling on this will only hinder progress. I have faith. Faith that things will work out. Someway, somehow. So for the time being all I can do is work my hardest and continue Hopin' and Praying and maybe with a little Grace, things will become a little clearer.
In the words of my should-be-wife Carrie Underwood, "Play on".